Chapter 89: The beloved is gone but her belongings remain, moving Baoyu to write a lyric; Fearing shadows, Daiyu stops eating in despair

Eighth-ninth Chapter: The Memento Left by the Departed Moves the Young Master to Write a Lyric; The Serpent's Shadow in the Cup Causes the Nymph to Abstain from Food

Now Xifeng had just risen and was feeling puzzled when she heard the little maid's words and was startled again. She quickly asked, "What official business?" The little maid said, "I don't know. Just now the servant at the second gate reported that the master has urgent official business, so the mistress sent me to call Second Master." When Xifeng heard it was a matter concerning the Board of Works, she was slightly relieved, and said, "You go back and tell the mistress that Second Master went out of the city on business last night and hasn't returned. Send someone to report to Master Zhen first." The maid acknowledged and left.

Presently Jia Zhen came over, saw the man from the Board, learned the details, then went in to see Lady Wang and reported, "A report came from the Board that yesterday the Director-General of the Yellow River memorialized that a breach had occurred in the riverbank in the Henan area, inundating several prefectures and counties. State funds will need to be expended to repair the city works. The officials of the Board of Works have much to attend to, so the Board specially sent someone to inform the master." After saying this, he withdrew, and when Jia Zheng returned home, he was informed. From then until winter, Jia Zheng was busy every day, often at the yamen. Baoyu's lessons gradually became more relaxed, but fearing Jia Zheng's discovery, he dared not stop going to the schoolroom to study, and he also dared not visit Daiyu too often.

By then it was the middle of the tenth month. Baoyu got up to go to the schoolroom. The weather that day suddenly turned cold. Xiren had already prepared a bundle of clothes and said to Baoyu, "It's very cold today. It's better to be warm morning and evening." She took out the clothes and let Baoyu pick one to wear. Then she wrapped another piece and told a little maid to take it out and give it to Peiming, instructing him, "The weather is cold. When Second Master needs to change, be sure to have it ready." Peiming acknowledged, took the felt bundle, and followed Baoyu out.

When Baoyu arrived at the schoolroom and finished his own lessons, he suddenly heard a howling wind against the paper window. Dai Ru said, "The weather is turning colder." He pushed open the storm door to look, and saw layer upon layer of black clouds gradually rolling in from the northwest toward the southeast. Peiming came in and said to Baoyu, "Second Master, it's cold now. Put on more clothes." Baoyu nodded. Peiming brought in a piece of clothing. Baoyu saw it and was stunned. The schoolboys all stared wide-eyed; it was the very peacock gold-thread cape that Qingwen had mended. Baoyu said, "Why did you bring this one! Who gave it to you?" Peiming said, "The young ladies inside packed it out." Baoyu said, "I'm not that cold. I won't wear it now. Wrap it up." Dai Ru thought Baoyu was just being careful with the clothes, and was secretly pleased that he knew to be thrifty. Peiming said, "Second Master, please put it on. If you catch cold, it will be my fault again. Second Master, just take pity on me." Baoyu had no choice but to put it on and sat staring blankly at his book. Dai Ru thought he was reading and paid little attention.

When school was dismissed in the evening, Baoyu went to Dai Ru and asked for a day's leave, claiming illness. Dai Ru was old anyway, only keeping company with a few children to pass the time, and often had various aches and pains. He was glad to have one less to worry about for a day. Besides, he knew Jia Zheng was busy and Jia Mother doted on Baoyu, so he nodded.

Baoyu went straight back, saw Jia Mother and Lady Wang, and said the same thing. Naturally, they believed him. He sat a little while and then returned to the Garden. When he saw Xiren and the others, he was not his usual cheerful self, but lay down on the kang in his clothes. Xiren said, "Supper is ready. Will you eat now or wait a bit?" Baoyu said, "I won't eat. I feel unwell. You go ahead and eat." Xiren said, "In that case, you should change out of this clothes. That thing can't stand much wear and tear." Baoyu said, "No need to change." Xiren said, "It's not just that it's delicate. Look at the needlework on it — you shouldn't ruin it like that." Baoyu heard this, and it struck a chord in his heart. He sighed and said, "All right, then you put it away and wrap it up for me. I won't wear it again." So saying, he stood up and took it off. Xiren moved to take it, but Baoyu had already folded it himself. Xiren said, "Second Master, why are you so diligent today?" Baoyu did not answer. After folding it, he asked, "Where is the cloth to wrap this in?" Sheyue quickly handed it over and let him wrap it himself, then turned and winked at Xiren with a smile. Baoyu paid no attention. He sat there listlessly. Suddenly the clock on the shelf struck, and he looked down at his watch; the hand pointed to a quarter past five. Presently a little maid lit the lamp. Xiren said, "If you won't eat, at least have some congee. Don't starve yourself, or you'll get a false fire from hunger, and then we'll have to worry." Baoyu shook his head and said, "I'm not very hungry. Forcing myself to eat won't do me any good." Xiren said, "Well, then you might as well go to bed early." So Xiren and Sheyue made the bed, and Baoyu lay down, but he tossed and turned and could not sleep. Toward dawn, he finally dozed off, but woke up before a meal's time had passed.

By then Xiren and Sheyue were also up. Xiren said, "Last night I heard you restless until after the fifth watch, but I didn't dare ask you. Later I fell asleep. I don't know if you slept at all." Baoyu said, "I slept a bit, but I don't know why I woke up." Xiren said, "Are you feeling unwell?" Baoyu said, "No, just restless." Xiren said, "Are you going to the schoolroom today?" Baoyu said, "I already asked for a day off yesterday. Today I want to stroll in the Garden and relax, but I'm afraid of the cold. Tell them to clean a room, prepare an incense burner, and set out paper, ink, brush, and inkstone. You all go about your business. I want to sit quietly by myself for a while. Don't let anyone disturb me." Sheyue chimed in, "If Second Master wants to concentrate quietly, who would dare to disturb him?" Xiren said, "That's fine. It will also keep you from catching cold. Sitting by yourself will keep your mind from wandering." Then she asked, "Since you don't want to eat, what would you like today? Tell me early so I can send word to the kitchen." Baoyu said, "Whatever. Don't make a fuss. Just put a few fruits in that room, so I can enjoy the scent." Xiren said, "Which room is good? None of the others are very clean. Only the room Qingwen used to live in — since no one has been in it, it's still clean, though it's a bit chilly." Baoyu said, "That's fine. Just move a brazier in there." Xiren agreed. As they were speaking, a little maid came in with a tea tray bearing a bowl and a pair of ivory chopsticks, and handed them to Sheyue, saying, "This is what Miss Hua just ordered. The old woman from the kitchen brought it." Sheyue took it and saw it was a bowl of bird's nest soup. She asked Xiren, "Did sister order this?" Xiren smiled and said, "Last night Second Master didn't eat, and he tossed all night. I thought he'd be hungry this morning, so I told the little maids to have the kitchen make this." Xiren had a little maid set the table, and Sheyue helped Baoyu drink the soup and rinse his mouth. Just then, Qiuwen came in and said, "That room is all ready. Just wait for the charcoal fumes to clear, and then Second Master can go in." Baoyu nodded, but he was full of thoughts and too lazy to speak. Presently a little maid came to announce that the brush and ink were all set. Baoyu said, "I understand." Another little maid reported, "Breakfast is ready. Where will Second Master eat?" Baoyu said, "Just bring it here. No need for fuss." The little maid acknowledged and left. Soon the meal was brought in. Baoyu smiled and said to Xiren and Sheyue, "I feel very depressed. If I eat alone, I'm afraid I won't be able to swallow much. Why don't you two eat with me? Perhaps it will taste better, and I'll eat more." Sheyue laughed and said, "This is Second Master's whim. We wouldn't dare." Xiren said, "Actually, it's all right. It's not the first time we've eaten together. For once, to cheer you up, it's fine. But if we made a habit of it, where would the rules and propriety be?" So saying, the three sat down. Baoyu took the seat of honor, while Xiren and Sheyue sat on either side as attendants. After the meal, a little maid brought tea for rinsing the mouth, and the two watched as the dishes were cleared. Baoyu sat holding his tea, silent and thoughtful. After sitting a while longer, he asked, "Is that room ready?" Sheyue said, "We already told you earlier. Why ask again now?"

Baoyu sat for a little while, then went into that room, personally lit a stick of incense, laid out some fruits, and told the others to leave, closing the door behind them. Outside, Xiren and the others remained silent and still. Baoyu took out a sheet of pink paper edged with gold and painted with corner flowers, muttered a few words of prayer, then picked up his brush and wrote:

The master of Happy Red Court burns this and offers it to the knowledge of Sister Qing. With brewed tea and clear incense, may you deign to partake. The lyric reads:

My constant companion, now alone I dwell in tender thoughts. Who would have thought a storm would rise from level ground, abruptly ending your life and frame? With whom now can I speak in gentle tones? Like waters flowing east, never to turn west again. In fancy I have no dream-bringing herb; when adding clothes I still see the emerald cloud-fur cloak. A silent, yearning grief!

When he finished writing, he lit the paper in the incense flame and burned it to ashes. He waited quietly until the stick of incense had completely burned down, then opened the door and came out. Xiren said, "Why have you come out? I suppose you've grown restless again."

Baoyu smiled and lied, saying, "I was feeling troubled, so I found a quiet place to sit for a while. I'm better now, and I want to go out for a walk." With that, he went straight out and arrived at the Bamboo Lodge. In the courtyard he asked, "Is Sister Lin at home?" Zijuan answered, "Who is it?" She lifted the door curtain, saw him, and laughed, saying, "So it's Master Bao. Miss is in her room. Please, Master Bao, come in and sit." Baoyu followed Zijuan inside. Daiyu was in the inner room and said, "Zijuan, ask Master Bao to sit in the main room." Baoyu walked to the inner room’s doorway and saw a new pair of couplets on purple-gold cloud-dragon paper, which read: "By the green window the bright moon remains; in the blue history the ancients are gone." Baoyu looked at them, smiled, stepped inside, and asked with a laugh, "What is Sister doing?" Daiyu stood up and took two steps forward, smiling as she invited him, "Please sit. I am copying a sutra here; only two lines remain. Let me finish, and then we can talk." She called to Xueyan to pour tea. Baoyu said, "Don't move; just keep writing." As he spoke, he noticed a scroll hanging in the middle of the room, depicting a Chang’e with an attendant, and another female immortal also with an attendant holding a long bag-like object. The two figures were lightly surrounded by clouds, with no other decorations, entirely in the style of Li Longmian’s plain-line drawing. Above it were the three characters "Enduring Cold Picture," written in clerical script. Baoyu said, "Sister, is this 'Enduring Cold Picture' newly hung?" Daiyu replied, "Indeed it is. Yesterday when they tidied the room, I remembered it and had them bring it out and hang it." Baoyu asked, "What is its origin?" Daiyu laughed and said, "It’s familiar enough to the eye; why ask others?" Baoyu smiled and said, "I can’t recall it at the moment; Sister, tell me." Daiyu said, "Have you not heard, 'The Green Maiden and the Moon Goddess both endure cold, vying in grace beneath the moon and frost.'" Baoyu said, "Right. That is truly novel and elegant, and it suits hanging it now." As he spoke, he looked around here and there.

Xueyan brought tea, and Baoyu drank it. After waiting a while, Daiyu finished writing the sutra, stood up, and said, "I have been remiss in hospitality." Baoyu laughed and said, "Sister is still so courteous." He noticed Daiyu was wearing a pale-blue embroidered short fur jacket, with a silver-ermine sleeveless vest, her hair coiled in an everyday cloud bun, fastened with a plain gold flat hairpin, no other flowers, and below she wore a pink embroidered padded skirt. Truly she was like:

A slender jade tree standing in the wind, or a fragrant lotus blooming with dew.

Baoyu then asked, "Has Sister been playing the zither these past two days?" Daiyu said, "I haven't played for two days. My hands already feel cold from writing; how could I play the zither?" Baoyu said, "It’s fine not to play. I think the zither, though a refined object, is not a good thing; no one has ever played wealth, honor, or long life from it, only melancholy thoughts and restless worries. Besides, playing the zither requires memorizing the score, which inevitably tires the mind. In my opinion, Sister’s constitution is delicate, so it’s better not to trouble yourself with it." Daiyu pressed her lips together and smiled. Baoyu pointed at the wall and said, "Is that the zither? Why is it so short?" Daiyu laughed and said, "This zither is not short; it’s just that when I was learning to play as a child, I couldn’t reach the strings on other zithers, so this one was specially made. Though it’s not made of scorched paulownia wood, the crane’s peak and phoenix tail are well matched, and the dragon pool and goose feet are properly balanced. Don’t you see the cracks are like ox hair? So the tone is still clear and penetrating." Baoyu said, "Has Sister written any poems these past few days?" Daiyu said, "I haven’t done much since the poetry club was formed." Baoyu laughed and said, "Don’t hide it from me; I heard you reciting something like 'Unceasing, how the pure heart is like the moon in the sky,' and when you set it to the zither, the sound was especially resonant. Is that true or not?" Daiyu said, "How did you hear it?" Baoyu said, "I heard it the other day when I came from the Polygonum Fragrance Studio. Afraid of interrupting your pure melody, I listened quietly for a while and then left. I was going to ask you: the first part was in level rhyme, but at the end you suddenly switched to oblique rhyme—what does that mean?" Daiyu said, "That is the natural sound of the heart; it goes where it will, and there is no fixed rule." Baoyu said, "I see. What a pity I’m not a connoisseur of music; I listened in vain for a while." Daiyu said, "How many connoisseurs of music have there been since ancient times?" Baoyu heard this and felt his words had been rash, fearing he had chilled Daiyu’s heart. He sat for a while, feeling as if he had many things to say, yet nothing more to speak. Daiyu, too, realized her words had been impulsive, and upon reflection, thought they seemed too cold, so she also fell silent. Baoyu, suspecting Daiyu might have doubts, awkwardly stood up and said, "Sister, please sit. I still want to go and see Third Sister." Daiyu said, "If you see Third Sister, please give her my regards." Baoyu agreed and went out.

Daiyu saw him to the door, then returned and sat down gloomily, thinking to herself, "Baoyu’s speech lately has been half-spoken and half-withheld, now warm, now cold. I wonder what he means." As she was thinking, Zijuan came in and said, "Miss, aren’t you writing the sutra anymore? Shall I put away the brush and inkstone?" Daiyu said, "I’m not writing anymore; put them away." With that, she went into the inner room, lay down on the bed, and slowly pondered. Zijuan came in and asked, "Miss, would you like a cup of tea?" Daiyu said, "No, I don’t. Let me rest a little; you all go about your business."

Zijuan agreed and came out, only to see Xueyan standing there in a daze. Zijuan approached her and asked, “What’s on your mind now, that you’re so lost in thought?” Xueyan, startled by the approach, replied, “Don’t shout. Today I heard something, and I’ll tell you—it’s strange, isn’t it? But you mustn’t say a word.” With that, she gestured with her chin toward the room. She walked ahead, nodding for Zijuan to follow her out to the open ground beyond the door, under the verandah, and whispered, “Sister, have you heard? Baoyu’s engagement is settled!” Zijuan was startled and said, “Where did that come from? I’m afraid it’s not true.” Xueyan said, “How could it not be true? Most people probably know already; it’s just that we haven’t heard.” Zijuan asked, “Where did you hear it?” Xueyan replied, “I heard it from Shishu. It’s to some magistrate’s family—good family background, and the person is talented, too.” Just as Zijuan was listening, she heard Daiyu cough, as if she were getting up. Afraid Daiyu might come out and overhear, Zijuan pulled Xueyan’s sleeve and shook her hand, then looked inside. Seeing no movement, she whispered again, “What exactly did she say?” Xueyan said, “The other day, wasn’t I sent to Third Miss’s place to thank her? Third Miss wasn’t in her room; only Shishu was there. As we sat together, we happened to talk about how mischievous Second Master Bao is. Shishu said, ‘What’s good about Second Master Bao? He only knows how to play, completely unlike an adult. He’s already had a match proposed, yet he’s still so scatterbrained.’ I asked if it was settled, and she said it was, with some Master Wang acting as matchmaker. That Master Wang is a relative of the Eastern Mansion, so there was no need to investigate—once it was mentioned, it was done.” Zijuan tilted her head, thought for a moment, and said, “That’s odd!” Then she asked, “Why hasn’t anyone in the household mentioned it?” Xueyan said, “Shishu also said it was the Old Ancestress’s idea. If it were brought up, they feared Baoyu might become restless, so no one speaks of it. Shishu told me and warned me a thousand times not to let it slip, saying if it came out, people would think I was the one with the loose tongue.” She pointed inside with her hand, “So I don’t mention it in front of her. Today, since you asked, I don’t see why I should hide it from you.” Just then, they heard the parrot call out, imitating speech: “The young lady’s back, hurry and pour tea!” This startled Zijuan and Xueyan. They turned around but saw no one, so they scolded the parrot and went back inside. There they saw Daiyu, out of breath, just sitting down on a chair. Zijuan made small talk, asking about tea and water. Daiyu asked, “Where did you two go? I couldn’t call out a single person.” With that, she walked over to the kang, leaned to one side, and lay back down, facing inward, telling them to let down the bed curtain. Zijuan and Xueyan agreed and withdrew. They were both suspicious that she might have overheard their earlier words, but they had to refrain from mentioning it. Little did they know that Daiyu, full of anxiety, had indeed eavesdropped on Zijuan and Xueyan’s conversation. Though she didn’t fully understand it, she had grasped seven or eight parts, and it felt as if she had been thrown into a vast sea. Thinking over the past and present, it seemed to fulfill the prophecy of her recent dream. A thousand sorrows and ten thousand resentments surged into her heart. Turning it over in her mind, she thought it better to die early, rather than witness unexpected events that would only bring more misery. She also reflected on the bitterness of having lost her parents. From now on, she would deliberately ruin her health, day by day, and in a year or half a year, she would surely find peace. With this decision made, she neither covered herself with the quilt nor added any clothing, simply closing her eyes and pretending to sleep. Zijuan and Xueyan came to attend to her several times, but seeing no movement, they didn’t dare call out. She ate no dinner. After the lamps were lit, Zijuan lifted the curtain and saw that she seemed asleep, with the quilt kicked to the foot of the bed. Fearing she might catch cold, she gently picked it up and covered her. Daiyu didn’t stir, but as soon as Zijuan left, she pushed it off again. Zijuan kept asking Xueyan, “Was that talk today true or false?” Xueyan said, “How could it not be true?” Zijuan asked, “How did Shishu know?” Xueyan said, “Xiaohong heard it and told her.” Zijuan said, “Earlier, when we were talking, I’m afraid the young lady might have heard us. Look at her demeanor just now—there’s something behind it. From now on, let’s not bring this up again.” With that, the two of them prepared to sleep. Zijuan came in to check and saw that Daiyu had kicked off the quilt again, so she gently covered her once more. The night passed without further incident.

The next morning, Daiyu rose early, without calling anyone, and sat alone in a daze. When Zijuan woke and saw that Daiyu was already up, she asked in surprise, “Young lady, why are you up so early?” Daiyu said, “Indeed, I went to bed early, so I woke early.” Zijuan quickly got up, woke Xueyan, and attended to her toilet. Daiyu sat before the mirror, staring blankly at her own reflection. After a while, tears fell in broken streams, already soaking her silk handkerchief. Truly:

A gaunt reflection faces the spring’s bright mirror;

You must pity me, as I pity you.

Zijuan, standing by, dared not console her, fearing that idle talk might stir up old grievances. After a long delay, Daiyu casually washed and dressed, but the traces of tears on her eyes never dried. She sat alone for a while, then called to Zijuan, “Light some of the Tibetan incense.” Zijuan said, “Young lady, you’ve hardly slept at all. Why light incense? Are you going to copy sutras?” Daiyu nodded. Zijuan said, “You woke too early today, and now copying sutras—won’t that be too taxing?” Daiyu said, “It doesn’t matter. The sooner I finish, the better. Besides, I’m not doing it for the sutras; I’m just using the writing to pass the time. In the future, when you see my handwriting, it will be like seeing me.” As she spoke, tears streamed down. Hearing this, Zijuan could not only offer no further advice but also couldn’t help shedding tears herself. It turned out that Daiyu had made up her mind: from then on, she would deliberately mistreat her body, losing all appetite for tea and food, gradually eating less each day. When Baoyu came from his studies, he often took time to visit her, but though Daiyu had a thousand words to say, she knew she was older now and couldn’t tease him with gentle flirtation as she did in childhood. So her heart was full of troubles she couldn’t express. Baoyu wanted to comfort her with the truth but feared she would grow angry and worsen her illness. When they met, they could only exchange hollow words of comfort—truly, closeness itself bred distance. Though Daiyu was pitied by the Dowager, Lady Wang, and others, they only summoned doctors to treat her, saying she was often ill, unaware of her heart’s affliction. Zijuan and the others understood but dared not speak. From then on, she weakened day by day. After half a month, her stomach grew weaker, and one day she couldn’t even eat congee. The things Daiyu heard during the day all seemed to be about Baoyu’s marriage; everyone in Happy Red Court, high and low, appeared to be preparing for it. When Aunt Xue came to visit, Daiyu didn’t see Baochai, which only deepened her suspicions. She refused to let anyone visit her and wouldn’t take medicine, wanting only a swift death. In her dreams, she often heard someone calling “Second Young Madam Bao.” A web of suspicion took shape, becoming a phantom in the cup. One day, she stopped eating entirely, refusing even congee, growing faint and listless, on the verge of death. Whether Daiyu lived or died, see the next chapter for the explanation.